The Astute Gamer

Last Monday I got my wisdom teeth yoinked. I’ve been meaning to do it for around 4 years, and only with promptings from my husband and family who claim my leaving those four harmless teeth in gum were turning me into a snaggletooth, I finally gave in and let them go. Luckily, since they’d pretty much all come in since I had them pulled so late I didn’t have to get any stitches, but it was a traumatizing experience nonetheless. Drugged up and chock full of painkillers, I was too loopy to play video games, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t read about them. Armed with a plethora of video game magazines, my mother came bearing gifts and delicious soft foods I could gum down. After the initial shock wore off, the magazines crept in. Lovely woman my mother is, she picked me up every one she could find, including those pricey and glossy British mags. With about 8 magazines to go through and countless previews of upcoming games, I’d like to share with you my latest and greatest ‘Can’t Freaking Wait’ list, courtesy of the country of England and my sweet mother.

Prototype — Never before has assimilation sounded so freaking good. Not only can you draw people into your bio-awesome form learning their information and gleaning their combat practices, you can even assimilate concrete and use it as a protective measure. An open world with major open opportunities, this game’s looking like GTA all hopped up on science fiction. Mmmm. Science fiction. Just like mom used to make.

Brutal Legend — Why is hardly anyone talking about this game?! Tim Schafer and Jack Black. Playing in the world of Heavy Metal. AI and environment inspired by the likes of Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Metallica … If that’s not enough for you, Tim and Jack are teaming up big time. Jack’s contributing to the dialogue and of course, the musical riffs, straight from one half of the majesty named Tenacious D. Rock on!

Dead Space — Survival horror had already wormed its way into my heart but this take on it looks breathtaking. Tactical takedowns, mining lasers not gigantic submachine guns, no HUD, just plain old fashion full screen uninterrupted action, and not to mention isolation in zero gravity along with some monster friends that want you to be their new playmate.

GhostBusters — With Dan Ackroyd and Harold Ramis back at the reins, you know the next installment in the GhostBusters series is going to be a winner. This iteration in a long list of crap GhostBusters games has you going up against some of the series’ favorite baddies. The shushing librarian, Mr. Stay Puft, Slimer … The list goes on and on. As a child of the 80s who grew up with the GhostBusting crew, cereal and cartoons, I could not be more excited.

WET — Sex with guns and so much more. In this action adventure shoot ‘em up, the hitwoman protagonist, Rubi gots to GET her money. When she gets stiffed by some clients, said clients turn into stiffs. With the adventure feel of Tomb Raider, Rubi’s insane fighting acrobatics, build off the craziness initiated in BloodRayne 2 — not necessarily a bad thing. At the risk of mentioning Tenacious D twice in a video game blog post, I’ll also say that Rubi has mastered the art of the power slide, replacing her axe for a pair of shiny pistols. As a female gamer, there’s something to be said for kicking ass as a woman. I’m SO looking forward to it.